WHO? WHAT? WOW! The week in WEIRD

For Tatiana 'Tanya' Tuzova, Barbie is a lifestyle choice. INSTAGRAM

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BARBIE DOPPELGANGER NEEDS A SKIPPER

Despite spending more than $200,000 to look like plastic icon Barbie, her Russian doppelganger has no friends.

Tatiana ‘Tanya’ Tuzova, 32, who has been obsessed with Barbie since childhood, admits she is friendless and even the company of 1,520 Barbies doesn’t fill the void.

She has been married five times. Hmmmm. Oh, and she wants to change her surname to Barbie.

Shes been married five times but Tatiana ‘Tanya’ Tuzova believes most in Barbie. INSTAGRAM

“I don’t have friends,” she told Pravda. “I have no time to be friends. I like being alone, no-one interferes with my thoughts, I like my world.”

And while he may be no Ken, she claims husband number five is her “best friend.”

But for Tatiana, Barbie is a lifestyle.

“Barbie is not my job, it’s a lifestyle. When I am insulted on the internet, I tell people: ‘I don’t drink or smoke or swear. I instill a healthy lifestyle to children,’” she said.

For Tatiana ‘Tanya’ Tuzova, Barbie is a lifestyle choice. INSTAGRAM

SLUTBOT UPS SEXTING GAME 

Sex writers and educators have joined forces to give the clumsy and inarticulate a chance to up their sexting game.

The result is Slutbot, which debuted last Tuesday.

Slutbot is free for all by texting 415-650-0395. The app is the bawdy brainchild of Juicebox CEO and founder Brianna Rader.

“People want their minds stimulated, and dirty talk is a great way to do that,” she told the New York Post, adding that good “sextiquette” is part of the experience.

An ad for Slutbot. (SLUTBOT)

“We even talked to a linguist to help us code all of the appropriate words,” she said. “There are so many different ways you can say ‘yes.’”

And there is even a safe word button if things go off the rails.

MUGSHOT MANIA

Tamanda Billings, 27, reportedly whacked out of her head on meth, told truck driver Devonte Harris she needed his vehicle to flee zombies.

But she couldn’t get the vehicle into gear and was busted outside a Walmart in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

When asked to get out, she told the driver: “No, there are Zombies after me.”

In a 2016 trespassing incident, our heroine claimed Satan dropped her off in a neighbourhood where cops found her wandering about in the wee hours.

Tamanda Billings stole the truck because, well, zombies were coming after her.

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT BEARDS

Holy hipster heartache!

New research appears to reveal everything you suspected about young men with beards: That modern bit of unearned masculinity, the ubiquitous beard may be a sign of small testicles.

“In a nutshell, the showiest males have the smallest testes,” says Stefan Lüpold, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Zurich, who along with other researchers compared 100 primate species’ (including humans’) sexual traits.

Sorry hipsters, big beard = small testicles according to new research.

But the study also found that a beard could potentially help juice things up when it comes to reproduction.

“It’s hard to have it all,” says Lüpold. “Big testicles come with large weapons — but less ornamentation.”

PLUS-SIZE MODELS NAKED GAMBIT

A new British TV show aims to transform the country’s body image and it stars two plus-sized models.

Curvy cuties Ayesha Perry-Iqbal and Felicity Hayward will pose nude wearing nothing but body paint on the Channel 4 show, Naked Beach.

Plus-sized models Felicity Hayward and Ayesha Perry-Iqbal are the stars of Naked Beach. (BAREFACED TV)

The hosts will guide three contestants of all shapes and sizes through a number of tasks they’ll perform in the nude to boost their confidence.

All shapes and sizes will star on Naked Beach. (BAREFACED TV)

“The show is based on a science that shows that getting naked around other normal naked bodies is the ultimate way to improve your body image,” Perry-Iqbal told The UK Sun.

bhunter@postmedia.com

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