UR Life

childrens stress too part one

Amanda Conley

By Amanda Conley

Bullying has been going on for decades. Children will always find some way to make other children’s lives that much harder. Time and Time again, even with my kids, bullies will harass them to no end. There is more than one way to skin a cat and I believe that showing our kids to take a stand is one of the biggest parts of moving across the line between being bullied and being strong. Seeing children who cry due to uneasy situations around their school years breaks my heart.
Let’s think on the other end of the spectrum. Children follow by example. When kids have rough times in areas outside of school and are in situations that tend to have more complications or violence can become frustrated with life and choose to take it out on their peers. Nobody tries to be a bad person and I am not saying that anyone’s life is unstable. I am trying to remind those who are dealing with different things in life are twice as likely (in my opinion) to have boys and girls who are being a bully or causing problems in other environments. Monkey see, monkey do.
School is a huge part of their lives. I remember my middle boy was in grade three. He had been having trouble with a kid in school and it had been going on for a while. Taking to the child did not help and he really wanted to switch schools. I hesitated on the switch as he was moving to a new school for his upper elementary years and I told him that if things do not get better there than we will take a step forward to making his life a little easier. With small drop in chats with his teachers and staying in touch with my son things finally took a turn and he was able to finish out his year of school with no problems. Grade three was a rough one for him and we had another incident that caused a talk with the principle because I was tired of the miss-treatment that the school was giving the victims of the park crimes.
My middle boy has always been the center of attention somehow. His peers love him and he treats people the way he wants to be treated. Another child from a completely different class had been bugging him on the playground and in the hallways to the point he did not want to walk anywhere outside of his classroom. The time had come that he had a different approach. After talking with teachers to try and solve the problem, having my son tell the teachers and having talks with the child there was no other turn to make except to play the game. My son came home the day of the fight in the park. We had told him you have one hit that is all. We had taken the routes that did not succeed and chose to give him permission to do to another as they had done to him. He hit him once, and the teacher had caught him doing the act. Punishment was done and the next day I had went into the school to settle the problem. I admitted to the principle that we had given him permission to lay a hand on the other boy. We had said we are not proud for the hitting that we encouraged but for the fact that he stood up to his bully. I cried that day since I was also bullied in school and it has left a scar in my heart. I also informed them that I felt like the punishment was not needed for the victims but the ones who had started the mess. Sure enough that boy never bugged him after. Nothing else was said. The school made the boys talk one on one. I think this helped as kids often forget that others have feelings too.
Kids will be kids but bullying is not my thing. Sometimes children are just like that regardless of their other atmospheres. I get that. But it does not justify the fact that my son was scared to go to school. School should be a safe place for them. It is a place to grow, play, make friends and learn.

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